Understanding And Managing Anger
Do you know why you’re angry?
SOURCES OF ANGER
Anger outburts and rage can be extremely detrimental to both health and relationships. Sometimes these may even land us in unnecessary disputes and litigation.
There are three important things to understand about Anger:
- Anger is a basic and natural emotion like any other emotion such as fear, sadness, hurt, love, gratitude etc. and is a natural response to unmet expectations
- The outburst, or rage in itself is not Anger. These are ways of expressing anger, and are often unconscious (i.e. outside conscious control)
- The events that happen around us are not the real cause of the anger outburts.
They are only “triggers”. If we observe carefully, for the same situation or incident, one person may completely lose control, start throwing things, shouting, cursing and may even become violent, while at the same time others may only be vocal, or simply shocked. Some may even only be mildly irritated.
This is because the real explosive (for lack of a better analogy) that bursts is buried deep inside the person getting angry or suffering with outburtsts. This is why people end up being disproportionately angry (in intensity and /or the duration of anger) to some comments they face or incidents that they get involved or surrounded in.
ANGER REDUCTION
To get “rid” of anger (as it is commonly called, though no one can ever get rid of anger in real sense), it is very important to explore deeper inside ourselves for the anchors / deep sources of anger. These may or may not be visible to us initially, as often the original souce / core issue is not in the conscious awareness.
But finding these core issues and anchors is the first step in the journey of ending these unwanted trigger cycles and outbursts, that adversely affect relationships and/or health.
On the anger reduction part, there could be many ways, some bringing faster results than the others.
If someone desires to work through this on his/her ownself, they can start doing meditation, yoga and deep-beathing exercises with appropriate advice suited to their health conditions. This can be immensely helpful and may help them calm down over a period of time. Sometimes people start seeing improvements in few months.
With the self-help and improvement process, the main issue often is the duration or period of efforts that are needed to get over the issue of outburts or rage. Not everyone is able to keep putting in efforts for years. They tend to eventually stop doing these extra efforts, which may result in them returning back to old behavioural patterns of anger outburtsts or rage, as the core issues (sudden triggers) still continue.
The other way is to work through the real sources of anger with a professional (NLP, Timeline and conscious Hypnosis Practitioner) to get support in this deeper exploration, identification of anchors and for releasing them. There are many techniques and helpful tools along this journey. Again, depending on their health and other situations, this could be 10–12 weeks for identifying and releasing the deep sown anchors, gaining inner empowerment and moving ahead in life. With the right support and guidance, this transformation can be permanent, with very low possibility of returning to old behavioural patterns as the core issue (triggers from comments, incidents and situations) has been addressed/resolved and empowerment done to move ahead.
Everyone has a different journey, and level of readiness to address Anger outburts and related issues. When these anger outbursts or rage start impacting the life significantly, a time may come when addressing anger issues takes top priority. That’s when things can start changing in the right direction if they desire.
As they often say, “When the learner is ready, the teacher appears”.
